Javonte Ends the Unbeaten Run, Jeff Drops 186, and Felts Finally Wins One

Monday's check-in said Kawika's unbeaten season was all but dead unless Javonte Williams decided to cough up the ball a few times and forgot how to walk. Javonte did neither. He put up 21.5, Ethan won 130.8 to 106.3, and Darth Kanaka is 6 and 1. The same Monday night, Jeff's three Cowboys turned a 10.72 point lead into the highest score of the season, and Felts won his first game. Scoring came back too: the league averaged 119.8 after last week's 109.9 drought.

The Verdict

Week 6's Turd of the Week ended in a flat three way tie at 3 votes apiece: Purdy good, ShOGuN and Team Fiddy all share the shame. The league found ShOGuN guilty of the lineup crime, 4 votes, for starting the Jaguars defense (-1.0) over the Broncos defense (18.0) on the bench, which is extra funny since Travis ran a perfect lineup this week. Best Laugh was not close. Mike B. ran away with it, 7 votes, for "God damn, if darnold threw that water it would have been picked up off by the Broncos defense too." On the picks, Mike B. and Greg led at 4 of 6, and Jacob went 0 for 6, including the pick he made on himself. Ethan and Greg were the only two who picked Team IR. The league as a whole missed three games, taking Kuzu over Mike B., Purdy good over Team IR, and Laces Out over ShOGuN. Six of nine picked Ethan to end the unbeaten run, and they were right.

Skibidi Rizzler Deez Nuts 108.88, Team Fiddy 77.12. Greg won with the lowest winning score of the week, and he did it with Caleb Williams on his bench. Caleb put up 22.12 there while Aaron Rodgers started and scored 13.08. It did not matter. Christian Kirk gave Keith a zero, Bryce Young managed 5.42, and Bucky Irving's 24 was about all Team Fiddy had. Josh Jacobs' 20.1, Ja'Marr Chase's 17.2 and George Pickens' 15.7 were plenty for Greg, and Keith dodged the week's low score by 0.80.

We Did Not Care 186.08, Maybe Nix Year 113.68. Jeff led by 10.72 going into Monday night with Dak Prescott, CeeDee Lamb and Brandon Aubrey still to play. Rodney needed all three to fall apart. Instead Dallas won 38 to 21 in Philadelphia, and the trio put up 61.68 between them: Dak 23.28, CeeDee 24.4, Aubrey 14. That is a 72.4 point win and the highest score in the league this season, topping Jeff's own 181.56 from week 2. Jaxon Smith-Njigba's 31.3 and Trey McBride's 27.1 had already done the early damage. Monday morning, before any of it, Rodney told the chat "Happy for Jeff this week," about the Seahawks beating the Chiefs 20 to 3. By Monday night Jeff had given him a second reason. Rodney's Bo Nix put up 26.28 a week after Rodney called him trash, and Christian McCaffrey added 22. It never had a chance.

JORDAN LOVE MVP SZN 128.76, Kuzu 76.32. Mike B. renamed his team after Jordan Love this week, and Love put up 16.96 in a 20 to 17 loss at Detroit. Matthew Stafford outscored him from Mike B.'s bench with 17.5. Tee Higgins' 26.8 and Jonathan Taylor's 19 carried it anyway, and that is with Tre Tucker's 21.3 never leaving the bench. Jacob had the opposite week. Emeka Egbuka gave him a zero, Nico Collins gave him 2.6, RJ Harvey's 14 sat on the bench, and Kuzu finished with the league's low score, 39.37 under projection. Then his picks came back 0 for 6, and his Eagles lost by 17 on Monday night.

Team IR 150.92, Purdy good 138.34. Felts won a game. Going into Monday night he trailed Alen by 6.22 with Dallas Goedert and the Cowboys defense left, one on each side of the same game. Goedert put up 9.8, the Cowboys defense added 9, and Team IR won by 12.58, the closest game of the week. Tony Pollard's 36.5 and Michael Penix Jr.'s 20.42 built the lead. Last week Felts lost by 0.46 with 23 on the bench. This week he left 3.4 there. Alen finally started Drake Maye over Brock Purdy, and that part worked: Maye put up 27.44 and Purdy 12.02 on the bench. He still lost to the winless team, with Aaron Jones Sr. managing 3.6 in the flex while Saquon Barkley's 15.1 sat on the bench. Purdy good, just not quite good enough, and 138.34 takes the Unlucky award.

ShOGuN 121.98, Laces Out 98.3. Travis ran a perfect lineup, 100% of optimal, the only one in the league this week. Joe Burrow's 28.88 did the most damage, and Burrow got Nick twice: Cincinnati beat Baltimore 35 to 13. Nick's Ravens gave him nothing. Lamar Jackson, Zach Charbonnet and the Ravens defense all scored zero, C.J. Stroud's 16.52 sat on the bench, and Laces Out left a league worst 29.92 points unused for the Worst Manager award. Travis spent Thursday telling the chat "lol we losing to the saints put in your kalshi bets." His Steelers beat the Saints 16 to 10.

King Ethaniel 130.8, Darth Kanaka 106.3. The unbeaten season is over. Monday morning Jeff called it "kind of poetic for Kawika's record to mirror the 49ers," who had just lost their first game, to the Falcons. Kawika answered: "Super Bowl champ and fantasy champ in my future. Or its a simultaneous turn where the wheels fall off and I burry my head in the sand." Jeff: "Kyle shannahan asks himself that every year lol." That night Javonte Williams put up 21.5, and now Kawika and the 49ers are both 6 and 1. Jameson Williams' 26.1 and Puka Nacua's 21.8 led Ethan. Kawika's own Rhamondre Stevenson scored 22.5 against the league's Patriots fan, which Ethan called "a prime example of friendly fire." Kawika's kicker and defense scored one point each. Ethan won comfortably and still left 29.6 on his bench, because last week's lineup crime nominee overcorrected. After starting Cam Skattebo for a zero over Colston Loveland, he benched both of them this week. They scored 19.1 and 19.9.

Awards

• High Score: We Did Not Care, 186.08
• Low Score: Kuzu, 76.32
• Blow Out: We Did Not Care over Maybe Nix Year by 72.4
• Close Win: Team IR over Purdy good by 12.58
• Lucky: Skibidi Rizzler Deez Nuts, won with just 108.88
• Unlucky: Purdy good, scored 138.34 and still lost
• Overachiever: We Did Not Care, plus 56.37 over projection
• Underachiever: Kuzu, minus 39.37 under projection
• Best Manager: ShOGuN, 100% of optimal lineup
• Worst Manager: Laces Out, 76.7%, 29.92 left on the bench

Next Week

We Did Not Care jumped to number one in the power rankings, ahead of Darth Kanaka despite the worse record, and Jeff now has the most points in the league. Team IR climbed from 12th to 9th at 1 and 6, which should concern everybody, and Felts gets 5 and 2 Rodney next. Kawika and Alen play the 49ers bowl. Mike B. gets Thursday night first: his Packers host the Panthers. And Ethan asked whether he can vote the AI for Turd of the Week. Kawika called it a new feature request.